Yesterday was my last day at work in Utah. It’s been quite a process. And this past week has been about trust, an awareness of conscious choices, surprising revelations and magical happenings.
As I have mentioned before I moved to Utah at the end of April 2011. I had been living in Sonora, CA for the year leading up to the move. I had signed up for my first class with The Four Winds Healing Light Body School which was for the South Direction. It began at the end of April. I had intended on going to class and returning to California. Instead, my work place in Sonora had told me a month prior that they were going to be laying me off due to a slow down in business. I gave it some thought and decided to put my belongings in storage, pack up my car with my dog Java and cat Jadey, my clothes, a juicer and my blender, and head to Utah. I had no idea what would happen, initially I was going to be staying with one of the women that worked with The Four Winds, while I was going to class. Her offer allowed me to go to class, which was my most driving intention and desire at that time. After that I didn’t know what would transpire once class was done, other than there would be the West direction class taking place in July in Park City too, that I wanted to go to. It was all about trust and faith, and keeping that focus on what I desired, and taking the footsteps to align with that intent.
As it turned out, I stayed for 3 years and a few months. I spent allot of time alone, other than with Java and Jadey. I lived in a very rural and beautiful valley that was primarily farmland. People were nice, but I just couldn’t seem to connect. I was integrating allot of energetic shifts from all that I experienced in the South and West direction classes that first year, and then the following year I attended the North and East direction classes that were held in Joshua Tree in CA. Those classes and experiences also created many energetic shifts too. I experienced winters that were so beautiful, but extremely long lasting…longer than I had experienced ever before in my life. I had a hard time with that. I couldn’t seem to get warm.
Then last year I experienced a health crisis that took most of the year to work through. I spent allot of time in bed, when I wasn’t at work and slept allot. With the assistance of a number of alternative therapies and practitioners, and diligence on my part with my background in Reiki and Shamanic studies, I became stronger and began to come back. Not in the same way but much more aware of what I needed to do to take care of myself in the best possible way.
This past February I visited a dear friend who lives in the Sedona area of Arizona. I had such a lovely time during that visit, I had never spent time there before. I returned after that long weekend and when I came home, I knew I would be going back. It was calling to me, to my Soul and I was listening.
I hadn’t made any formal plans as of yet, but the Universe kicked into gear less than a month later. I had this incredible dream of love, support and protection that made it very clear that now was the time to begin the process of transitioning to move.
That week of the dream, there was a situation at my job that came up that needed me to make a commitment to stay there. Needless to say, I could not make that commitment because my heart said something else. So I explained to my bosses what my heart was calling me to do. That was on my 60th birthday. I had no idea what they were going to do when I did that. But I trusted that I would be OKAY. Sure enough, they were so grateful that I was honest with them because it saved them from the expenditure of sending me to training, and then possibly me leaving anyway.
We had conversations and we agreed my last day would be June 20th, which was yesterday. I was thankful for that time to make all the preparations that I needed to, and they were very appreciative of the long notice because it gave them plenty of time to find my replacement. I would also be able to train my replacement and be there for questions that came up in the midst of the transition. It all worked beautifully.
When I left yesterday, I felt that I had been true to my heart and soul. I had held true to my integrity by trusting that all would be well, and that as long as I did what I thought was right, no matter what anyone else did, I would be fine. That complete trust and confidence was coming from a place of knowing which made all the difference in the world. I just KNEW. Some of my co-workers surprised me yesterday in expressing how much they would miss me. I had made more of an impression on those around me than I had realized. It was a lovely surprise and I realized that just because people do not express themselves in ways familiar to me, that maybe they are more reserved than I, doesn’t mean that someone hasn’t affected them.
By the time I came home last night, I had such energetic waves of appreciation, emotion and release…I needed to just lay down and bask in it all…be in a place of solitude and gratitude.
I have learned a tremendous amount in my short time in Utah, about myself and about others. I will carry this imprint of time within me in positive and strengthening ways.
With today being summer solstice, I wanted to spend time outside. So this morning Java and I took a number of walks. We had driven to one of the locations he likes. It’s a high school that has a lovely little creek than runs on the side of of the property along with beautiful willow like trees growing on the banks. I love watching them as the breeze blows through them, and the rays of sun twinkle in and out of the branches.
As we were getting out of the car, I noticed a big, beautiful yellow and black butterfly on the road. It was simply sitting on the road waiting to fly, with it’s wings up. I just kept watching it and shortly, it flew up in the air and flew around me in a spiral from the bottom of my feet to the top of my head and up into the air. At this moment I became an observer, watching in appreciation and awe as it flew around me back and forth. Java finally became interested in it and started to chase it. It flew far enough away that Java stopped, and then it continued to fly past me again.
I finally went with Java towards the creek, he was becoming impatient. As soon as we got to the creek, I saw another butterfly marked just like the previous one and it was dancing in amongst the willowy branches of the trees. I just stopped and watched as it brought so much joy and love to my heart and soul. Thank you for the messages you bring to me. I am blessed and loved, supported in that love, buoyed by that love and encircled by that love.
I will be packing up this upcoming week, and will be moving next weekend. I am starting a new journey, in a new location that I find magical and supportive in it’s energies and peoples. I look forward to what unfolds there, but I also am enjoying each and every moment of this time, being present, and holding space for grace and appreciation.
When I came home from our butterfly encounter, I looked up the butterflies to see what type of butterfly I had seen. It’s the picture at the top of this page. It’s a Yellowtail Butterfly. They are huge and gorgeous. After the encounter, I suddenly remembered I had found one, who was fully intact on the grass but no longer alive when I first moved here. I brought it in and kept it in my room. It had brought me a message then about transformation, and it has returned to bring me more messages about the next transformation. Thank you Butterfly, I am in your debt and I honor you.