Over the last few weeks, I had been going back and forth in my head about whether or not this was the right time to spend money on something that I really wanted to do. I was totally stuck in my head about this.
So when I was walking Java yesterday morning, I was having this conversation in my head again going back and forth, not going anywhere. Finally, I just said to myself stop! I then asked myself, Dawn where is all this coming from, where is this back and forth centered in? I immediately answered this is coming from my mind which is attempting to figure out what was best for me. Ok, yes I’m all for being wise in my spending but where was this desire coming from that I wanted to make this expenditure. The answer was it was coming from my heart. Then I asked myself, what did the universe tell you about this move? I remembered how I was told I would be supported, I would be protected, I would be buoyed and not sink. My hand would be held. Ok, if that is the case I asked myself why wouldn’t I trust in what my heart desired and what the universe had promised me? I started to laugh because I realized how silly I had been being.
The thought persisted a little longer in saying well don’t you want to be responsible though and frugal to support this. At that point the thought that kicked in was, Dawn are you going to walk your talk or not? At that point I knew that I could trust that spending the money would not take anything away from me. It was from the heart, it would in the long run bless my community and myself, and it was about trusting what I had been told.
So when I came home, I went online to pay for the deposit for what I had wanted to register for. It was funny because when I first tried to pay online, the Paypal link hung up when i hit pay. It stayed like that for a number of minutes. I finally just hit the back button and it brought me back to the pay button again. I decided to check my bank account at that point to make sure that the payment hadn’t gone through, before I tried again. In the past I would have thought, “OH, that must be a sign that I wasn’t supposed to do this after all.” This time around, I knew that it was the universe asking me if I was REALLY sure about trusting. So I went back with more intention that this is what I was choosing to do with a whole and open heart. The payment this time went through with no problems. I felt totally at peace with my decision and intention.
I went to get up and walk away from the computer. As I was doing so, I caught my left little toe on one of the boxes that I had packed in my room. I was walking with some force and when I caught my toe on the box, which was quite heavy it actually moved the box. I screamed and cried in pain. I finally looked down at my toe and realized it was turned 90 degrees out from my foot. OOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW. I felt I had either dislocated it or broke it.
Once I calmed down, I pushed my toe up against the rest of my foot. It was already double the size it normally is and was getting bigger. At least at this point it was closer to the rest of my foot. I soaked it in cold water, then in warm water, I did Reiki on it coming from the intention of my highest good.
I had intended to continue packing yesterday along with running some errands that needed to be done. I was having difficulty walking, so I made a decision to not pack yesterday, but to go ahead and do the errands and then come home. When I returned home I soaked my foot again in cold water. At this point the whole foot was completely swollen and really difficult to walk on. I laid in bed with my foot up on a pillow. I kept thinking to myself, this wasn’t just some isolated accident there was a message here, what was it.
I looked up the metaphysical meaning of breaking or dislocating your little toe on your left foot. This is what I found “The Left Earth Toe is all about trust and trusting – trusting the Universe, trusting other people and trusting yourself.”
Here’s the link to what popped up when I had done the search online
Ok, that seemed to ring true, it resonated especially with what I had gone through with the back in forth in my mind earlier on my walk. I was asking myself, well why would this happen when I confronted those fears and trusted, deciding to “walk my talk”. Do you get where this is leading?
I went on my walk with Java this morning because by the time I woke up my foot was feeling significantly better, allot of the swelling had diminished, even though there was still pain in my toe. So Java and I headed out. As I was walking it hit me why the whole broken toe thing happened. I had consciously chosen to “Walk My Talk” by trusting. At that moment a recent post by Tania Marie I had seen came to mind. Here’s the link to Tania’s website post and the quote that rang in my head.
“also like Robert Wilkinson’s remarks, particularly in light of my own “physical bone fractures” I’ve experienced that symbolically felt potent to the breaking apart of old to new he explains:
“As Eternals, we’ve seen many things fall apart across many lifetimes. It’s a very human experience. And every loss creates the space for something new to come at exactly the right time…
“Just keep in mind that if it actually IS a time of many things fracturing, don’t be impatient for the new to present itself before the fracturing is done. We need a clean slate if we’re going to write a new symphony (and it’s hard to write one when the ground is shaking!)”
I was so thankful for that flash of insight and thankful for the article by Tania Marie. I realized that the breaking of my left little toe was breaking up of an old belief and pattern. And that I was co-creating a new pattern that would be much more beneficial to my new life I was also co-creating. I was anchoring in this belief of “walking my talk” figuratively and literally. As this inspiration spread through me, the rest of the pain in my toe completely vanished. The elimination of the pain, signified that I had really received the message that had been gifted to me.
I am so appreciative and grateful for this experience. I feel completely loved and cared for AGAIN. Thank you to Tania, your posts definitely make a difference to my life. Thank you to me for listening. I am celebrating as I continue to pack today.