This post came about from an experience I recently had and worked through. I felt extremely compelled to share what I had learned and processed, to assist those who encounter this phenomenon. This was my first time experiencing something like this. But my sense says this is going to become rather common place as time unfolds. Although it can be extremely disorienting, confusing and challenging, as with everything there is a gift to be gleaned from it if you chose to and recognize that that is what it is.
Like many of you, I had experienced those deja vue moments. Feeling like either i know this place, I think I’ve been here, or wow I remember this happening before or that person is very familiar to me and here I just met them. Yes, I have experienced all of these. What I was not prepared for was meeting someone, realizing there was a connection from a past life, and then we both at the same time together connected to the time, place, smells, music, senses, emotions, and passions that went all along with it. This was all triggered by a piece of music. I had never experienced ANYTHING like it. It was intoxicating.
There was so much going on during this time and space connected with this person….it was extremely intense, erotic, passionate, delightful. It was a time where the matriarchy was in place, the divine feminine goddess was respected, honored and adored. It was an array of physical delights, and visual delights. Very intoxicating, and very hard to leave from. Thinking about it again, well let’s just say phewwww! I’m feeling a little warm. ❤
Now I had not had any feelings like that toward this person prior to this flashback or whatever you want to call it. Myself I like the term past life bleedthrough. Because that’s really what it was. That moment instantaneously recurring with us as observers and participants, two different lifetimes bleeding into one.
I didn’t really understand what was happening as I went through the gamut of emotions, senses and feelings. All of a sudden, I knew this person in very intimate ways I did not know them in this life. To be honest it was very disorienting. That night I still didn’t want to leave that time and space, because of how wonderful it all was. And I also didn’t want to leave the relationship I had with that person at that time. Everything, everything was blurred, including boundaries and lifetimes. I was very confused. And feeling very vulnerable.
I knew I needed time, time alone to process and to understand what just happened. So I took that time. There was another aspect of this that didn’t help my clarity. It was a tarot reading I had had months earlier and it spoke of a person coming into my life that would be very important. When this happened I stared questioning whether this was that person? I became even more confused. I was very aware of the fact that these were two separate life times. I was also very aware of the fact that boundaries and our relationships were very different in each lifetime.
I know the person that experienced this with me also was very disoriented, felt very ungrounded and was finding it hard as well to stay put here. We talked about it some, we both decided to drum that night for ourselves and one another. It was very difficult to forget what happened, not that you would want to. But when you have a certain type of relationship with a person in this world and that relationship was something totally different in the other world…and you both experience that, you can’t unremember it. You can’t go back like it never happened.
I was conscious enough to realize that if I didn’t get some clarity on this, this would not be a good situation for either of us. I went through a grieving process and honoring of that lifetime ending, as well as that relationship and how it was then. It was as if it was happening right now. All the emotions, feelings and sadness accompanied that process.
I asked myself what am I going to do now? All that kept coming into my heart was that I needed to reinstate boundaries for my own well being, as well as my own self care and self love. In doing so, I would also help this person that I care for as a medicine brother.. Otherwise, this was going to be way too confusing. With possibly the relationship in this lifetime ceasing. We had a conversation about it, speaking very openly and honestly that if we wanted to keep our connection healthy and in balance we needed to have boundaries to end the chaos and confusion tht we were both feeling.
Since that discussion, I have felt much better, focused and grounded. I believe he does as well. I chose to remain in this world, at this time and place. Even though it has its own set of challenges and it may not have all the feelings, emotions and structure that the other life did, that was extremely intoxicating. This is where I choose to be, this is where I want to be and this is where my work is. I choose a more balanced life. I want the passion, beauty and principles that come with a balanced life.
I want to thank my medicine brother for this experience. I don’t believe it would have happened if we hadn’t connected in this lifetime. It was meant to be for us both. I am very proud of both us for how we handled it. We handled it with allot of love, respect, dignity and grace for one another.
In sharing this, I hope it helps you to navigate these waters if you are fortunate to experience this. I haven’t really heard anyone talk about it in this way yet, so hopefully it will resonate with some of you and if you have experienced it already please feel free to share. I know I would love to hear your experience and I’m sure it would be helpful to others.
As for the gifts, I realized how much I had grown in understanding boundaries, putting them into place and the love I feel for myself that hasn’t always been there. That was a huge gift and realization. Also, that tarot reading I had, and that person that is coming into my life….I’m here and can’t wait to see you again.