I visited a dear friend that’s in a nursing home. I usually go once a week. The last few times I’ve visited her I felt such empathy for her. She was asking if I had spoken to her daughter at all recently. I told her no I hadn’t. She then went on to tell me how lonely she was.
As she did I was petting her on her arm, her hands, her shoulder, the side of her face and top of her head. Her tears flowed down her face from deep within. She told me how much it meant to her to have me pet her. She spoke of how she wished her family would do that for her and how she felt like no one loved her. I dont know if that’s true of her family, I believe they love her, she doesn’t always remember.
The pain of loneliness and separation she felt was real though. It made me ache for her, she then became embarrassed by her need for touch. I attempted to put her at ease she’s a proud woman though. But proud or not the desire for touch is so strong in all of us. It can override pride
Then my mom came to mind. How she must have felt that way when she was in the nursing home. Sometimes we mistakenly think because their needs are being met physically we’ve done our jobs. I think we may more so if the relationship is difficult to begin with.
I saw my mom differently today and told her how sorry I was if she ever felt that way, she passed 2011 Humans require love, touch and time with those they love to thrive.
I remember growing up my mom would say well we take care of all your needs, you have food, clothes, and a roof over your head. She thought that was really good at the time because that was more than she felt she had growing up
I remember saying to her then it takes more than that to feel loved. Somewhere along the line I forgot about that. I don’t think I’m the only one.
I am so thankful for the time that I give to my friend and for our conversations with my friend. She is teaching me and is aiding me by bringing to light so much
Love you dear friend